it's just a place for me to whine n complain n rant...

seeing my own friend shooting right back at me. just like history repeats itself when i was
in form 4. in form 4, those were my friends, boycott me... this time, my own blog, being hacked.
i didnt know my blog was being hacked until a friend of mine asked if i was ok n do i need
to go to the extend to delete off my own blog. then, i checked. i stoned in front of the pc
for a while. u must be very happy to see me this way. whoever u r.
i was angry. really angry. the only person who knows all my password is only chris wong. and
of cos for the 1st second, in my mind i oni could think of is her doin this... i have no
rational at all to think why or how or wat. i only know i'm angry.
i know my previous 2 posts its over the top. i apologize for what i've scolded. especially
on her parents. i was really too angry.
where's my freedom of speech? a blog is a place for me to whine, to rant. luckily enough,
when i created this account, i'm still able to use misheru. people ask me, why still wanna
use misheru? as if there's not enough trouble already. that name that i searched for on the
internet, for both me and kurisu. we wanted to get our tattoo in kanji. we didnt at the end.
you guys must be thinking, why i only say bad things about people but not good things? so,
if i dun say good things in my blog, so i deserve to be treated this way?
i took the initiative to call chris last nite. a thing that i never thought i would do after
such short period. i drank a lot, so that i have the guts to ask, why? why does she need to
do till this extend? we had a long talk.
dumb woman... indeed i am. so dumb i would cry over a blog being hacked.
during the talk, she said everyone was blaming on her. astre called her and 1st thing she
asked, why she dun control her temper towards me. and she was taking all in. she said i must
be fully responsible on what i type on the blog because it effects people around... thats
why i asked, where is my freedom of speech?
be it blaming her or me, it's still between us. why come in and interfere? the harm has
already done. so let both of us cool down. why add fire? how we have treated each other in
our relationship, i think we know the best.
although it's a public blog, and i dont know how many people out there actually reads it.
i'm sorry if i ever caused uncomfort to anyone. blog, is my only friend. my only place to
release what i have inside. thats why i seldom blog on happy things because happy things can
keep with me. please, do respect as it is my property. and the damaged i have caused is bad
enough and i believe breaking up it's our own problem.
if u guys thinks that i only know how to type about negative things... yes. u r right. i
just want a place to whine. if u guys thinks that i dont know that chris treats me well,
then no, u r wrong. among my ex, she treats me really well. it's just the temper i cant
handle. i have no patience. i know, i have my own temper as well, i throw tantrums and she's
good enough to take it all in. we cant discuss something peacefully. we always end up
arguing while discussing. although we do have happy times, i miss goin CC with her playing
online games till 3am. i miss goin for BBQ plaza with her. i miss goin for porridge
steamboat with her. i miss doin my work at her place and she always disturbs me when i'm
doin my work. i miss singing starry starry night in a kiddo way when she's driving. but what
more can i do? my limit is only this much. she has contributed in this relationship and i
have too. be it she contributed more or i do, wat i know it's that at the end, we did put
effort in it. and the outcome it's just not wat we have expected.
it's a lose-lose situation here and as if we have not lose things enough already? tania, if
u ever exist. i do not need to know where r u from or who r u. i have no interest at all
about that. my friend keep asking me to find out who u r. but i am just not interested to
know someone who is actually adding fire in people's break ups. but one thing, i just really
wanna know, by doing this, u really think u have helped chris? by hacking into my blog and
delete the posts that i have blogged about her?
from my point of view, u're not helping at all. as i have said, the damage is done. i really
wish that both of us would cool down, recover and one day meet back as friends. not foe. and
by u doin this my dear stranger, it would only make me hate her more and will eventually
turn us into enemy. i would really wish that we would remain as friends. but if she refuse.
i respect that.
but if u really think it really helps by hacking and ruining my only friend which is my
blog... so please do, hack this blog as well and delete the whole account. or else, i'll
rant more.
but tania, i thank u. at first i thought it's gonna be so damn hard to let go this relationship of 2 yrs. i thank u for giving such easy time for me to let go this
relationship. thank u gratefully.
chris wong, sorry for raising my voice last nite cos i couldnt control myself. struggling to let go as well as loosing my blog. both are precious. i really lost my mind. minor part of it, alcohol... sorry.
being with u these 2 yrs had been a wonderful roller coaster ride. it's not that i dont appreciate it and keep working things out. i'm tired of arguing, tired of your temper. i'm tired mentally. u can say that i'm selfish. i don't wanna drag longer. it's always u who voice up break up, den yes, we patch back. this time, let me be the bad person. which things has already turn so ugly now and totally i didnt expect it. thanks for walking with me through this journey. u still have a friend in me.